Our Story
I was sitting there in my local coffee shop preparing Sunday’s message when he approached me. He was a little older than me, dressed casually, and had a kindness in his eyes that only comes from living through hardship and wanting to comfort others who are going through it now.
And I was going through it. The “it” being the most discouraging season of my 26 years of ministry. I was a mess.
“Are you a pastor”? He asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, having no idea why he suspected that, or where this was going.
He immediately followed with, “Could I have a minute to tell you about the ministry I’m involved in”?
Now, my most recent experience with a stranger in a coffee shop involved a homeless guy wanting to tell me all about his mission to save the earth from a collision with Planet X, which he explained is about to end the world as we know it. With that in mind, I reluctantly agreed.
“It’s called Standing Stone,” he said, “And what we do is we shepherd the shepherds. We provide safe, confidential care to pastors and their families.”
Someone to shepherd my soul? It would be nice if it was really true. But even if it was, how much would it cost? Would it really be confidential? Was he really safe? Those were a few of the questions that raced through my mind.
“What that means,” he continued, “is I’ll go to my grave with anything you tell me. And there is never any charge for my time. I won’t even let you buy your own coffee when we meet. I have a team of people who support me so I can love on pastors like you.”
Even though most of my questions were answered, I was still not quite ready to open up to him.
Could I be honest about the fear, pressure, and confusion I felt, and be confident he would be a gracious, gentle shepherd? I said a quick prayer for wisdom, took a deep breath, then took the plunge.
“How much time you got”? I asked, hopeful he didn’t have anywhere to be any time soon.
“I’m good,” he said, “You want to talk now”? He had a look on his face that made me think maybe this was going to be even better for me than I hoped.
We made our way to an outdoor table where we had some privacy, and I began to tell him my story. He didn’t say a lot. He mostly just listened, related to what I had gone through, and spoke words of encouragement. And he thanked me. He thanked me for enduring the hardship of ministry for Jesus’ sake. After we were done, he offered to meet with me again soon.
We did. Then his wife met with my wife. And for the next year, they walked with us through one of our darkest ministry seasons until we came out on the other side. We were so thankful!
After that first meeting, I began to learn more about Standing Stone. I learned there are over 150 Standing Stone “Shepherds” across the U.S., but that the ministry was just beginning to make its way to the midwest and south. I was in a time of transition. I had learned that 58% of pastors feel they do not have any good, true friends (1). I wanted to be that friend and shepherd to other ministry leaders. After a year of prayer, Sandy and I answered God’s call to serve as Standing Stone Shepherds, and it’s been an adventure – the Lord has allowed us to make many new friends, serving leaders across the country and around the world.
Who knows, I might just show up at your coffee shop.
(1)Statistics on Pastors: 2016 Updated, Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development. P. 15